Nothing to see here. Nothing at all. It’s been a quiet week in the cricket world all told. Sand…what? Oh, well, yes. There was something…

Apart from that though, quite sleepy really. Oh and Australia walloped England in Perth, again.

Ali Martin was our man at the Optus and witnessed Mahli Beardman’s international arrival and another stinker from England exactly twelve months on from the last one:

A week of watching Australian cricket descend into civil war ended with smiles being wiped from English faces after a stunning debut from the fast bowler Mahli Beardman consigned the tourists to an all-too-familiar hammering in Perth. Victory in a low-key one-day international was never going to atone for the galling start to that failed Ashes campaign here 12 months ago. Nevertheless, England appeared better prepared this time, while the hosts were missing their big three quicks and fighting sandpaper-related bushfires off the field. And yet by 4.38pm local time – nine hours after Pat Cummins had finished his marathon takedown of Usman Khawaja’s autobiography in Sydney – Harry Brook’s side were 1-0 down once again. Rolled for 131 all out in just 33.4 overs, having been 68 for eight at one stage, a seven-wicket loss was the upshot. There was more than a touch of Cummins about their tormentor on the day, too, with Beardman claiming figures of six for 24 from 7.4 overs in his first ODI – a national record, no less. Just 21 years old, but already touching 90mph on the speed gun, the Western Australian looks a considerable prospect.”

A week of watching Australian cricket descend into civil war ended with smiles being wiped from English faces after a stunning debut from the fast bowler Mahli Beardman consigned the tourists to an all-too-familiar hammering in Perth.

Victory in a low-key one-day international was never going to atone for the galling start to that failed Ashes campaign here 12 months ago. Nevertheless, England appeared better prepared this time, while the hosts were missing their big three quicks and fighting sandpaper-related bushfires off the field.

And yet by 4.38pm local time – nine hours after Pat Cummins had finished his marathon takedown of Usman Khawaja’s autobiography in Sydney – Harry Brook’s side were 1-0 down once again. Rolled for 131 all out in just 33.4 overs, having been 68 for eight at one stage, a seven-wicket loss was the upshot.

There was more than a touch of Cummins about their tormentor on the day, too, with Beardman claiming figures of six for 24 from 7.4 overs in his first ODI – a national record, no less. Just 21 years old, but already touching 90mph on the speed gun, the Western Australian looks a considerable prospect.”

The whiteball sideshow to to the main circus off the field rolls into Adelaide for the second ODI between Australia and England. Nope, no idea what we’ll talk about.

Play starts at 2pm ACDT/2.30pm AEDT/3.30am GMT