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THE MOUSE THAT ROARED
A consistent criticism levelled at Como is that they are simply not “Italian” enough to be a bona fide Serie A club. Bankrolled by an Indonesian ciggy manufacturer, their president has helpfully likened their multi-hubbed business model to that of the Walt Disney Company. In Cesc Fàbregas they have a Spanish coach and their starting XI against Lens in Bigger Cup on Wednesday didn’t feature a single Italian. To add insult to injury, they also thrashed their hosts 9-1 in a show of outright vulgarity that will have had Serie A traditionalists gesticulating angrily. Piling on the hurt against already-humiliated opposition has never been the Italian way, unless both teams have formally agreed to it before the game kicks off.
Still, if the Como squad was low on homegrown players, they certainly looked the part upon their arrival at Stade Bollaert-Delelis, stepping off their team coach and inspecting the pitch looking like an escape party from a Milan fashion week runway. Due in no small part to the club’s official partnership with Rome’s haute couture menswear house Brioni, Fàbregas and his globetrotting ensemble looked impossibly stylish in bespoke double-breasted suits, knitted cotton-silk-cashmere long-sleeve polos and soft slip-on nubuck loafers (sans socks, of course), thoughtfully accessorised with designer shades even though it was already practically dark.
While their pitch walk served as an ironic counterweight to domestic football debate, once Como’s players had swapped their designer duds for studs, they reverted to a brand of intense front-foot football that couldn’t have been less catenaccio, leaving their hapless French hosts chasing shadows. The 9-1 [NINE – Football Daily Vidiprinter] victory was the biggest winning margin in Bigger Cup history, with Como’s only dampener on their evening coming in the form of a thunderous volley from Lens’ Ruben Aguilar. To make up for this crushing disappointment, Como’s final two goals were scored by Mattia Liberali and Matteo Papaccioli, a pair of teenage substitutes who could only have been more Italian if they’d celebrated by wheeling away on a couple of Vespas.
Despite being the highest-spending team in Serie A for the past two seasons, Como have pulled off the impressive feat of building a brilliant squad comprised largely of players this email had never heard of until they put Manchester United to the sword a fortnight ago. In Nico Paz, they have a genuine superstar in the making, while their highest-profile summer signings were Trevoh Chalobah and Moise Kean, who were absent from the travelling party due to knack. Despite witnessing his excellent side become only the second team in Bigger Cup history to score nine goals in one game (we’ll save you a Google: Bayern Munich), Fàbregas went full Billy Buzzkill to ensure his players don’t lose the run of themselves.
“It is a wonderful night for Como, for all our fans and many lads here who are at the start of their careers, but they need to keep their feet on the ground [and in their expensive hand-stitched loafers – Football Daily Ed], be humble, keep learning and not think everything will go well from here on,” he harrumphed, before taking time out to lavish praise on one individual. “I’m angry over the goal we conceded, as we changed something in our defending with the three substitutions. Plus it was scored by a former teammate; I played with Ruben Aguilar at Monaco and I told him I’d never seen you score a goal like that before!” It was indeed the pick of the 10, even if clawing proceedings back to 7-1 felt a bit like throwing a pebble at an approaching Death Star. With nine goals, no socks and a furious head coach demanding perfection, Como’s Mickey Mouse Club is beginning to look terrifyingly real.
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QUOTE OF THE DAY
“To the Portuguese people, the day has come for me to hand back the No 7 shirt of our national team. I never felt it belonged to me alone but for 23 years I had the privilege and the responsibility of wearing it, defending it and carrying it with me into stadiums all around the world. Today the time has come to pass it on to the future. It was not an easy decision because some decisions are not made with the mind alone. They are also made with the heart. A journey that began in August 2003 and changed my life forever has come to an end” – Cristiano Ronaldo says adeus to Portugal, ending an international career that spanned six World Cups and included a European title and the men’s all-time scoring record. His time with the national team finished with him walking out after falling out with head coach, Jorge Jesus.
FOOTBALL DAILY LETTERS
With Rafael Nadal joining the board of Real Madrid (yesterday’s Quote of the Day), there is surely an opportunity for AFC Wimbledon to appoint a star or two who have graced SW19. Perhaps John McEnroe or Ilie Nastase could help restore the club’s Crazy Gang ethos in the boardroom” – Dexter O Riordan.
I must say, I am enjoying hearing about Mikel Arteta’s scrapbooking hobby. I will be on the lookout for his YouTube videos” – Pat Condreay.
Can I be one of your 1,057 correspondents to point out that this business of paper/velcro/body paint to prevent shirt-grabbing has been raised before? The Cameroon team famously wore a one-piece, skin-tight kit (the Puma UniQT) during the 2004 Africa Cup of Nations. Naturally, since lots of referees don’t think shirt-pulling is a foul, and certainly not worthy of a penalty, Fifa immediately banned it” – James Wilkinson (and no others).
Send your letters to the.boss@theguardian.com. Today’s letter o’ the day goes to … James Wilkinson, who wins a copy of Programmes! by Richard Crooks. It’s out now and available to buy on the Pitch Publishing website. Terms and conditions for our competitions are here.
The FSA Awards are fast approaching and, though Football Daily has been cruelly overlooked yet again, Big Website has been nominated for a gong as well as Football Weekly, Women’s Football Weekly and Suzanne Wrack. If you want to show your support by casting a vote, you can do so here.
This is an extract from our daily football email … Football Daily. To get the full version, just visit this page and follow the instructions.
