Hello. And welcome to our Everything But The Football liveblog of the World Cup final, which suddenly becomes a little more relevant now that Fifa has decided to turn the World Cup final into a Super Bowl (allegedly one of 104 Super Bowls at this year’s tournament!).
What has Gianni and Co got lined up for you? Well, we’ll have:
1) Very popular and smart and eloquent president Donald Trump turning up to be booed by people who have paid good money to do so (see also: the 2026 NBA finals, the 2017 World Series, the 2025 Ryder Cup, the 2025 US Open tennis men’s final and a random Washington Commanders game last season):
We’ll also have a half-time show, featuring BTS, Shakira, Madonna, Burna Boy and Justin Bieber all watched over by curator of loving grace, Chris Martin.
But first! We’ll have a closing ceremony starting 90 minutes before kickoff, starring streamer IShowSpeed and various celebrities who were last cutting edge at least 25 years ago, including Nicole Scherzinger; Robbie Williams and Tom Cruise. There is a 90% chance Cruise will jump off something high (Gianni’s forehead?).
